


Just For This Moment

by shakespeare_dyke



Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Time, Retribution Spoilers, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 12:07:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20008033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shakespeare_dyke/pseuds/shakespeare_dyke
Summary: A songfic inspired by "As Long As You're Mine" from Wicked of the Chargestep romance scene in the Fallen Hero: Retribution beta (with f!Ortega and f!Sidestep)





	Just For This Moment

_Kiss me too fiercely_

_Hold me too tight_

_I need help believing_

_You're with me tonight_

Ortega was right about how dark the room could get. She pulls your shirt over your head and though you automatically lift your arms in the air without resistance, you freeze when you feel the air hit you. The tank top you always wear under the long-sleeved shirt has come off too, and you’re suddenly hyper-aware of how naked you feel. She pauses, pulls you closer. “Just hold me?” you ask Ortega, your eyes, unseen in the dark, pleading for something you know she can never truly give you. But her arms circle around you and pull you tight, and for a moment this almost feels possible. You’ve never felt completely safe, but right now, here, in her bed...in her arms...is pretty close. Even if tonight is all you have. All the more reason to savor it. 

_My wildest dreamings_

_Could not foresee_

_Lying beside you_

_With you wanting me._

She had thought you were dead. You had assumed you would never see her again. You convinced yourself it was better that way. Neither of you ever thought you’d be here tonight, lying next to each other. She’s soft and hard, her skin scarred and bruised, her breasts pressed against yours in the darkness. You can’t see anything now, not even her lips right in front of your face as she leans in to kiss you again, but if you close your eyes you can imagine exactly the look on her face right now. Wonder and awe and surprise, staring at you like she can’t quite believe it’s real. You almost laugh, thinking about it. You’re the one who should be looking at her that way. 

_And just for this moment_

_As long as you're mine_

_I've lost all resistance_

_And crossed some border line._

It doesn’t make sense, none of this does, but for one night you can set it aside and let her keep kissing you and start to move her kisses to your neck and your ribcage and your nipples and your belly button. At first you tense with each moment her lips make contact with your body; you clench up, terrified of what she might feel and notice with her mouth that she didn’t with her hands. She stops when she feels your muscles shift, takes her hands off your hips where they’d been pinning you gently to the bed, and immediately comes up to whisper in your ear. “Are you okay?” she asks. “We can stop. Now or at any point. I can hold you. We can go slow. We don’t have to do anything.” In answer, you pull her back into you and let yourself melt into her mouth, letting go just for a moment.

_And if it turns out_

_It's over too fast_

_I'll make every last moment last_

_As long as you're mine._

She continues kissing her way down your torso, finally reaching your hipbone, where she slows down and takes her time, sealing her lips over the skin and sucking tightly while her tongue flicks back and forth. It’s a good thing the room is too dark for you to see how purple you must be bruising there or for her to see how much it makes you blush just thinking about that. When she finally pulls away, her teeth brush against the skin, which makes you gasp. Reaching out your hands, you tangle your fingers in her hair as you lift your hips off the ground. Ortega eagerly helps pull your jeans off and discards them on the side of the bed somewhere. The right leg gets stuck on your heel and requires a moment of extra pulling before it’s gone, but finally it is, and finally her mouth is exactly where you want it, and you can feel every sensation through the thin cotton, and fuck, you hope she can’t smell how sweaty you are, but fuck, there are other smells that must be more powerful for her right now. You finally let yourself stop thinking about all the things that might fuck this moment up as you lie back on the pillow, willing this moment to last for eternity when she starts to pull your underwear off. But soon you’re arching your back and lifting your upper body off the bed, as you pull on her hair to push yourself as close to her as possible.

_Maybe I'm brainless_

_Maybe I'm wise_

_But you've got me seeing_

_Through different eyes._

_Somehow I've fallen_

_Under your spell_

_And somehow I'm feeling_

_It's up that I fell._

Later, your limbs entangled with each other and the sheets pushed to the foot of the bed, Ortega strokes your back gently. Each touch feels electric, not because of her Enhanced status, simply because of the effect she has on you. You know now how her fingers feel in a whole new way, which is certainly one of the things that sends shivers down your spine right now, but somehow this moment actually seems far more intimate than the sex earlier. Although the lights are still off and she can’t see your body at all, just lying with her, skin to skin, requires more vulnerability than you’ve been able to share...ever. Although you don’t think you’ll ever be able to say it back to her, you hope Ortega knows this is your own way of communicating love.

_Every moment_

_As long as you're mine_

_I'll wake up my body_

_And make up for lost time._

_Say there's no future_

_For us as a pair_

_And though I may know_

_I don't care._

In the morning you’ll leave. In the morning you won’t be lovers, and you won’t be Sidestep and Ortega anymore; you’ll be a villain fighting a hero. In the morning you won’t be able to taste yourself on her lips and feel her breath tickle your ear. In the morning you’ll leave without even taking the to-go mug of coffee she offers you, which is how she’ll know you’re serious--you never turn down coffee. But it’s not the morning yet. Right now, you’re wrapped in her arms and feeling almost safe in an almost home with an almost love. And right now, that’s enough. It’s more than enough. It’s so much more than you ever thought possible. 

_Just for this moment_

_As long as you're mine_

_Come be how you want to_

_And see how bright we shine._

With the lights off, your try to focus your other senses to breathe in every detail of this moment. You can smell your bodies, sweat mingled together with each other and a sweet earthy scent underneath. You hear Ortega sigh contentedly, and you try to pretend you don’t hear the clock in her kitchen ticking closer to the end of this night. You taste salt on her cheek when you pull her in more tightly to you and kiss the corner of her mouth, and you can keep pretending it’s sweat and not tears. When you turn your body closer to her, shifting on your hips, you feel the tender bruise from her marking you, and you wonder if that’s why she did it. Some kind of lasting, if impermanent, symbol of this night. If nothing else, you are labelled hers for a little bit longer, even once the mirage dissolves in the light of morning.

_Borrow the moonlight_

_Until it is through_

_And know I'll be here_

_Holding you_

_As long as you're mine._


End file.
